How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
