We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize