The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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