He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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