I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
This is the high leading the old right now
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Randomize
