Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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