I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
