so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
