So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Found your dick twin last night
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
