Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I enjoy the company of your penis
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
