you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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