Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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