i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
