What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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