Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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