Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
