How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
No subtext here. People are naked.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
