Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
