I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
