I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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