The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
