I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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