Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You are the jesus of drinking
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
