Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
