After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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