I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
