Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize