would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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