grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
