erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
