well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
