my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i just google imaged poop.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
