Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
