Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You need a sexual gate keeper
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
