Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
