we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
