I think I died a long time ago.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize