So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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