Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
