okay pat passed out under dana's car
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
