Christians are straight up FREAKS
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
