I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
