and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
