to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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