My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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