Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
