Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
