So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
