i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
