i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
