he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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