Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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