I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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