so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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