Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Randomize
