I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
