At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
