meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
