last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
