Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
